A Nameless Blog

Hello, friends.  It’s high time for some rambling, I think.  So… let’s ramble.

If you haven’t yet, go see Cloverfield.  I won’t say anything about it, other than how intense and terrifying it is.  It’s what a monster movie should be.

Years back, I went to a pizza place that had an old-style tabletop Pac-Man game.  I’m sure you’ve seen one — you sit down to play on a screen that points straight up.  For some reason, that kind of arcade machine gives me great joy.  I wasn’t quite sentient during the arcade craze of the ’80s, so old-style machines are something I never enjoyed in their heyday.  But still, just seeing one gives me that odd feeling of nostalgia for a past I never experienced.  It’s a fun feeling.  Must be why so many young folks drive their VW Beetles to vintage clothing stores.

Another movie recommendation: Inland Empire.  I’m not sure exactly what I saw, but I’m pretty sure that I liked it.  It’s David Lynch’s Lynchiest movie.  If you know what that means, you know what you’re in for (specifically, you know that you have no fucking clue what you’re in for).  Adam called it his masterpiece, but I still reserve that for Mulholland Drive.  If you like three hours of strange, amazing images with no obvious connection to a confusing, serpentine narrative, check it out.

Am I the only one baffled at John McCain’s apparent resurgence?  He was in the toilet just a month or so ago, written off by everyone, including me.  It seems like people are confusing him with Rudy Giuliani and they’re getting each other’s vote totals.  Is it that people feel guilty for not voting for him eight years ago?

Fucking Packers.  You ruined the Super Bowl.  Just fall on that fumble!  Don’t make such a stupid throw!  Don’t give the opposing kicker three chances to win!  Ugh.  The Patriots will go 19-0, and I can’t even get angry about it, because at least the Giants will be disappointed.  Good for the Pats; when do pitchers and catchers report?

Uh oh.  I ended two straight paragraphs with questions.  That’s bad for variety, yes, but I also hate that trope in writing.  It’s so lazy and easy to write hypothetical questions.  It adds ambiguity and smugness to things that don’t need either.  Don’t you think?  Isn’t there a better way to get your point across?  (See what I mean?)  Okay, I’ll stop.

The WWF is now in high-def (albeit partially in my household — thanks, Cox).  HD should make the women’s matches almost watchable… but if there’s ever a Ric Flair-Snitsky matchup, I’ll have a lot of vomit to clean up at my house.

A favorite pastime of mine in recent months has been to check out my site stats to see what keywords people are using to happen upon this humble little blog.  Some good samples that have actually led to my site:

true stories of fucking
mulholland drive masturbation
“conventions of dystopian films”
more than just mucus
the most violent porno
rosacea tom coughlin
superstars that are bald (like for example vin diesel)

Yes, the searcher included the parentheses in that one.  For most of those, Google was the preferred engine, but I sometimes get a few Asks or MSNs.  For the dystopian films one, I was the only hit.  Also of note: a search having to do with the masturbation scene in Mulholland Drive sends someone to my blog at least once a week.  I love StatCounter so much.

Anyway, with that in mind, I decided that I should try to increase traffic in even more ludicrous ways by putting in different words and phrases.  After all, if I’m unintentionally getting hits for those weird-ass searches, imagine how many visitors I’d get.  So from now on, I promise that every blogpodge will have something intentionally ridiculous.  That should be easy.  Let’s get started now.

Watching TV one evening, Bryan wondered aloud whether he’d be able to find Erin Esurance hentai.  As of this writing, he hadn’t checked.  So I did the dirty work, and guess what?  Yep — everything eventually gets turned into porn.  There.  Now, here’s hoping that the next time somebody wants to jerk off to an animated character from a car-insurance ad, he instead becomes my newest fan.

For that last link, I considered putting up the classic “NSFW” warning, but I decided against it.  My readers should be smart enough not to click the word “porn” while at work.

Enough nonsense.  I’ll have something of consequence later.

-Darrell

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008 at 1:12 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.