A Nameless Blog

Driving through my neighborhood, I encountered five white doves walking around in a T intersection.  Resisting the urge to sing, “cinco palomas blancas”, I signaled to turn left.  I had to wait, however, for a van was coming from my left along the street I intended to join.  The van eventually turned right in front of me, but not before the driver slowed way down and took her sweet-ass time making the turn.  She was smiling, staring at the birds chillin’ in the intersection.  My first thought was, “I should run one of those birds over.  It would totally ruin her day.”  I decided not to because, hey, what did the bird ever do to me?  I was mighty tempted, though.

What is it that made me think that?  I’m fantastic, so there can’t be something wrong with me.  There must be a natural, human urge to fuck with people.  I’m sure you’ve had it: you see someone enjoying something so distasteful or inane that your biggest desire becomes to make that person unhappy.

Come on, admit it.  You read a headline that a meteor hit a house that was having an American Idol viewing party, killing five.  Tell me you don’t at least chuckle.  Or how about this: a 45-year-old, well-dressed bald man is eating ice cream on a park bench.  You want a bird to poop on his head, don’t you?  That’s just the part of you that likes to fuck things up.  It might be mostly passive (note that I had a bird pooping on his head rather than you yourself), but the urge is there.

Maybe it’s just a male thing.  I’m reminded of the PUSA song, “Poke and Destroy”.  Selected lyrics:

Boys, boys, boys, boys are set to kill
They wanna crush everything that they see
You could take ‘em to a creepy museum with dinosaur bones
Hangin’ from the ceilin’
They’d feel the uncontrollable urge
To tip and push and kick and rip and tear and smash and squish and

Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
I’m a boy, I wanna poke and destroy

But I think women are just as likely to want to fuck things up.  Why do you think so many women gossip or go after married men or try to break up friendships?  Call them cunts all you like, but they can’t help it — they’re just human.  It’s too powerful a feeling to be able to ruin everything.

That was a cheery note about humanity.  I have only myself and everyone I ever knew to blame.

-Darrell

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 20th, 2009 at 12:37 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.